Your nose is huge
Your diploma does not fit the profile
Your hair is way too curly
You should change something about your clothes.
You cannot do that, you don’t have the abilities
When you believe what they say
Have you ever met somebody criticising you by your looks or abilities? Probably you have. Can you remember how that made you feel? If one person tells you; you cannot do that, you think; hmm that’s your opinion. If you have 10 people telling you the same, you start to believe it yourself, right? That is what kind of power society, and your mind has over the way you see yourself. So what happens when you let people crawl into your head? You start thinking: I am ugly, I should not write a book because I don’t have the qualifications, my nose is too big, etc…
It is a natural occurring process when you are being criticised, it causes stress and hampers performance and growth. You give up developing skills when your self-integrity is damaged. Why should you even try when nobody believes in your abilities, and when not even your own mind can convince you are capable of doing something?
When you believe what you say
When I was 21, I wanted to make a movie for charity. I had no knowledge in filmmaking, I knew nobody in the film industry. My mother looked at me like I was a crazy person, people I called to ask for tips didn’t believe I could do it with my budget and knowledge. For a week I stopped thinking about it, because if a filmdirector tells I cannot make it happen, it must be true… But I just couldn’t let the idea go. So I told myself; just start studying about filmmaking, get a great team surrounding you and make it happen. If I would have stopped right there and then, my movie (www.homanje.com) would never have been made.
Self affirmation, you may have heard of it before. It means you reflect on personal values that are relevant to you. Such as: I am a good person, I can write, I can make a movie, I am a good listener. It reduces stress, makes you less vulnerable to critics and makes you a better problem solver. NOTE: when you have a very low self-esteem, positive self affirmation can have controversive effect. When you have a low self-esteem and someone tells you to say to yourself: “I look wonderful”, you might think; god no, that is so not true. Self affirmation works for people that are already seeing value in their lives, but just cannot find out what their passion is, what their capabilities are. When you have a low self-esteem and you do want to use positive self affirmation, please advise a proffesional to see what is the next step. They mostly advise to meditate on thoughts and start self affirmations later on.
I myself, write down 3 self affirmation everyday and they are simple values, like: I’m able to write good titles for posts, I am loved, I look wonderful today. I want you to do the same. Just write down 3 positive self affirmation every day for 2 months. Why 2 months? habits and benefits will take some time, so do take your time.